Out of Place × Weiwei & Fang Kecheng: The First Six Months as New Parents
Key Terms
- The Shackles of Motherhood: The expectations and constraints placed on mothers in traditional society.
- The Dividends of Fatherhood: The social praise and advantages that men gain in the process of parenting.
- Reproductive Autonomy: The right of women to independently decide whether to have children.
- Postpartum Depression: A mental health issue that women may face after giving birth.
- Parenting Division of Labor: The distribution of responsibilities among family members in the process of raising children.
Abstract
In this episode of the Inappropriate podcast, new parents Fang Kecheng and Weiwei sincerely shared their parenting experiences after the birth of their son, LUCAS. The program explored the meaning of becoming parents, the severe pain that women face during childbirth, and the social phenomenon that "motherhood is a shackle, while fatherhood can be a social dividend." Weiwei admitted that the process of childbirth is full of challenges, and new mothers face both physical and psychological pressures. Fang Kecheng shared his experience of accompanying his wife during childbirth and the differences in parenting concepts. The program aims to present the complex aspects of childbirth and emphasizes that reproductive decisions should return to individual choices, enabling everyone to make rational decisions with full knowledge.
Insights
The content of this podcast profoundly reveals the complexity of contemporary social reproductive issues. It not only focuses on the physical pain and career dilemmas that women endure during childbirth but also敏锐ly captures the stereotypes and injustices of social culture towards the role of mothers. Through the sharing of real individual experiences, it triggers listeners to deeply reflect on reproductive choices, gender equality, and the division of family responsibilities. In addition, the program also explores the differences in parenting concepts, the importance of family support, and the psychological adjustment of new parents, providing valuable references for young people facing reproductive decisions.
Views
01 "Childbirth is an Individual Choice"
It emphasizes that childbirth should not be coerced by social pressure but should be decided based on personal careful consideration and inner willingness.
02 "Motherhood is Not Inherent"
It challenges the traditional concept of "a mother is naturally strong," acknowledges the hardships and challenges of motherhood, and calls on society to give more understanding and support to new mothers.
03 "Parenting Requires Joint Participation of Couples"
It calls on men to actively participate in the parenting process, take on family responsibilities, share the parenting pressure together, and promote family harmony.
In - Depth Analysis
The Parenting Records of New Parents: Reproductive Choices, Gender Dilemmas, and Family Responsibilities
Introduction: Reflection on Mother's Day
Every year on Mother's Day, there are endless praises. However, behind the flowers and blessings, the truth of childbirth is often intentionally or unintentionally ignored. This episode of Inappropriate focuses on the parenting records of new parents, attempting to restore the complex aspects of childbirth and explore issues such as reproductive choices, gender dilemmas, and family responsibilities.
Childbirth: A "Conspiracy"?
Weiwei admitted that after giving birth, she was filled with anger towards all women, especially the elders, who advised others to have children. Because they never told the truth about childbirth, as if childbirth was a door that could only be opened to those who had experienced it. This "conspiratorial" silence has left many women in a double - bind of physical and psychological distress without any preparation. In the early stages of pregnancy, physical discomfort, pregnancy complications, and workplace pressure all made Weiwei extremely anxious. What made her even more angry was that when she faced the choice between work and protecting the fetus, she was questioned, "Is the child more important or is work more important?" Men are never asked such questions.
Childbirth: A "Torture"?
The pain of childbirth was even more unimaginable. Since public hospitals in Hong Kong do not encourage the use of painless childbirth, Weiwei experienced "hell - like" severe pain. The regular contractions made her suffer so much that she wanted to give up several times. And the doctor said, "The pain is good," which made her curse inwardly. Fang Kecheng's experience of accompanying his wife during childbirth also made him in awe of the greatness of women. He witnessed the pain his wife endured and the various risks during the childbirth process.
Parenting: A "War"?
After the child was born, the challenges of parenting had just begun. New parents faced problems such as lack of sleep, being in a state of confusion, and conflicts in parenting concepts. Weiwei admitted that for a long time, she had difficulty accepting the label of "mother" as part of her identity. She felt ashamed to share her parenting life because she thought the process of giving birth and raising a child was extremely difficult. Fang Kecheng was relatively optimistic. He actively participated in parenting and shared his parenting experiences on social media. However, this behavior was also interpreted by some as "the dividends of fatherhood," believing that men are more likely to receive social praise in parenting.
Gender: An "Inequality"?
In the program, the guests mentioned the issue of gender inequality several times. From the pressure of reproductive decisions, to the division of parenting responsibilities, and then to the standards of social evaluation, women are always in a disadvantaged position. Weiwei pointed out that society expects mothers to be "self - sacrificing," while the requirements for fathers are relatively lenient. This unequal expectation puts greater pressure on women in the process of parenting.
Family: A "Cooperation"?
Although parenting is full of challenges, family support is crucial. Weiwei and Fang Kecheng's parenting model is that they are responsible for the nights, while Weiwei's mother and the Filipino maid are responsible for the days. This division of labor has enabled Weiwei to return to the workplace. However, this model also has some problems. For example, the lives of the elders are occupied by parenting, and the quality of care provided by the Filipino maid is difficult to guarantee.
Concepts: A "Running - in"?
There are also differences in the parenting concepts of Weiwei and Fang Kecheng. Weiwei is more anxious and hopes to do everything possible to make the child comfortable. Fang Kecheng is more optimistic and believes that some problems "will get better as the child grows up." Despite the differences, they are both working hard to run in, understand each other, and jointly create a good environment for the child's growth.
Choice: An "Autonomy"?
At the end of the program, the guests emphasized again that childbirth is an individual choice. Whether to choose to have children or not should be based on personal careful consideration and inner willingness. Weiwei admitted that if she could go back to the past with her current memories, she might choose not to have children. But she also emphasized that everyone's experience is different, and one should not base their choices on others' experiences.
Reflection: Where is the Road Ahead?
This episode of Inappropriate has triggered our in - depth reflection on reproductive issues. In today's context of a continuous decline in the birth rate, we should pay more attention to the truth of childbirth and explore how to create a more friendly reproductive environment for women. We need to break the stereotypes of the mother's role, respect women's reproductive autonomy, call on men to actively participate in parenting, and jointly share family responsibilities. Only in this way can we let childbirth return to its essence and enable every child to grow up healthily in an environment full of love and support.
Forward - looking Thinking
In the future, with the development of society and the change of concepts, reproductive issues will become more diversified. For example, the development of assisted reproductive technologies, the reproductive needs of same - sex couples, and the reproductive choices of single women. We need to face these new challenges with a more open and inclusive attitude and create a more equal and free reproductive environment for everyone.