Key Points
- Self-Driving Tour: Refers to the unique lifestyle chosen by Aunt Su Min to break free from family constraints, explore the world, and find herself.
- Female Independence: Highlights the importance of economic and spiritual autonomy for modern women, especially those who have experienced traditional family models.
- Finding Self: Describes the process by which Su Min, through travel and new experiences, breaks free from a repressive environment and rediscovers and affirms her own value.
- Gone With The River: A film adapted from Su Min's real - life experiences, which has attracted wide social attention and allowed more people to learn about her story.
- Traditional Family Values: Refers to the social and cultural norms that confine women's roles within the family, demand sacrifice and dedication, and may lead to individual repression.
Abstract
In this podcast, there is an in - depth conversation with Aunt Su Min, who became well - known across the country for starting a self - driving tour at the age of 56. Now 60 years old, Su Min shares her four - year life "on the road" and the underlying reasons that drove her to "leave home" - the long - term depression and suffocation in a marriage and family environment where she was disrespected and invisible. She talks about the impact of the film Gone With The River, which is adapted from her real experiences, and how this film has made her busier but also allowed more women with similar experiences to see themselves in her story. Su Min emphasizes the importance of female economic independence and spiritual self - strength, believing that these are the foundations for women to gain respect and the right to free choice. She shares her transformation from an indecisive housewife to an independent woman who is more confident and knows what she wants. She also candidly discusses the ongoing divorce proceedings and the challenges she faces. Su Min's story is not only a personal journey of finding self, but also reflects the dilemmas and awakenings of some contemporary Chinese women caught between traditional concepts and modern life.
Insights
Aunt Su Min's story has significant practical and application value. First of all, it reveals the common dilemmas that some middle - aged and elderly women may face under the traditional family structure and gender concepts - lack of respect, neglect of value, and suppression of emotional needs. Her "leaving" behavior, although extreme, is like a mirror, reflecting the desires and struggles in the hearts of many women, and triggering extensive social discussions about marriage quality, personal value realization, and the definition of happiness.
Secondly, her experience provides inspiration in the fields of personal growth and mental health. Through the self - driving tour, Su Min not only makes a geographical move but also undergoes psychological healing and reconstruction. This shows that actively seeking change, even at an age when it seems "too late", can bring a turning point in life and a renewal of spiritual outlook.
Thirdly, from the perspective of media communication and content creation, Su Min's self - media practice and the adaptation of her story into a film demonstrate the powerful force of individual narratives. Real and life - like stories can cross age and background, trigger deep resonance, and have great social influence. This also indicates that content that focuses on ordinary people, especially the voices of marginalized groups, may have sustainable vitality in the future media market.
Finally, her story has forward - looking significance for the evolution of social concepts. It challenges traditional concepts such as "making do with life" and "sacrificing oneself for the sake of children", and advocates the importance of individual happiness and dignity. Su Min's practice, along with her emphasis on female economic independence and spiritual autonomy, provides a vivid case for discussing more equal and healthy family relationships and social models.
Views
01 "Female Independence is the Cornerstone of Dignity and Freedom"
Aunt Su Min repeatedly emphasizes that women must be economically independent and have their own jobs or sources of income. She believes that economic dependence often leads to the loss of voice and respect in the family. Only with economic independence can one truly "live like a human being" and have the confidence to choose one's own life. She warns women: "Always have a job that you can hold on to. You must go out and do things. Don't trap yourself in the family."
02 "Don't Use 'For the Sake of Children' as an Excuse to Sacrifice Yourself"
Regarding the common saying of enduring an unhappy marriage "for the sake of giving the children a complete family", Su Min points out with her own experiences and her daughter's feedback that a family that seems complete on the surface but is full of conflicts and depression may cause greater harm to children. She believes that parents' pursuit of real happiness is sometimes more beneficial to the next generation than maintaining a broken "complete" family. She says: "Never impose these ideas on your children. You haven't asked your children if they want such a family."
03 "Finding Self Doesn't Necessarily Mean 'Leaving Home'"
Although Su Min herself chose the radical way of self - driving tour to "leave", she doesn't suggest that everyone should follow suit. She believes that the key is to find a lifestyle that suits oneself and makes one feel happy and valuable. This can be learning new skills (such as singing or painting), cultivating hobbies, or bravely ending an irreparable relationship. The core is "try some lifestyles that belong to you and find a more suitable life pattern for yourself and just go for it."
04 "It's Never Too Late to Change Your Destiny"
Looking back on the moment when she decided to set off at the age of 56, Su Min believes that it was a crucial decision to change her own destiny. She has transformed from a depressed and even suicidal housewife into an energetic and independent woman who is in control of her own life. This proves that no matter how old one is, as long as one makes up one's mind and has the courage to take action, it is possible to get out of trouble and reshape one's life. She is glad that she made the choice back then: "It can be said that this decision has changed everything about me."
In - depth Analysis
"The 'Leaving' Su Min: A Chinese Woman's Self - Redemption and an Echo of the Times"
When 60 - year - old Aunt Su Min sits in front of the camera, the calmness and vitality in her conversation make it hard to associate her with the depressed and on - the - verge - of - collapse housewife four years ago. Since she drove a white Volkswagen Polo (what she calls "Little Polo") and resolutely "left home" at the age of 56 to start a national self - driving tour, Su Min's life trajectory has undergone a dramatic change. Her story has spread widely through short videos and the book I Left Home After Turning Fifty. Recently, it has been adapted into the film Gone With The River, once again triggering profound reflections on women's dilemmas, the prison of marriage, and individual value in society.
The Prison of Marriage: The Invisible "Free Nanny"
Su Min's leaving was not an impulsive act but the culmination of decades of repressed life. In the podcast, she candidly describes her post - marriage life: a typical and extremely suffocating traditional family model. She and her husband practiced the so - called "AA system" - being economically independent from each other, but the burden of housework, child - rearing, and taking care of the elderly almost all fell on her shoulders. "You're just someone who cooks," Su Min describes her role at home. "When the family needs you, you come over; when they're done using you, they celebrate and do whatever they want, as if you don't matter."
This state of being invisible and disrespected is a common experience for many women of that era who followed the "men work outside, women work inside" or similar models. Su Min mentions that even after taking care of her sick father - in - law for four years with all her heart, she still didn't get basic respect from her husband. What chilled her even more was that the car she bought with a loan and her daughter paid the down payment for was regarded as her husband's property. He used it at will and even deliberately drove it away when she needed it. This infringement of personal space and property became the last straw that broke the camel's back. "Since I can't win the argument at home, I'll drive it away so that you'll never see it again." Behind this seemingly angry remark lies endless grievances and a strong desire for autonomy.
Finding an Exit: From Internet Inspiration to Vlog Recording
The opportunity for change came from an accidental internet browsing. Su Min saw a blogger sharing a self - driving tour experience and mentioning that one could earn travel expenses by shooting videos. "When I saw that, I said this is the life I want," the feeling of being instantly hit ignited the long - buried desire in her heart. Before that, she didn't even know that life could be like this.
So, she started to prepare silently: learning video editing, buying camping equipment such as tents and stoves. Before setting off, she didn't have a detailed plan. The only thought in her mind was "to leave this place quickly". In September 2020, while her husband was out playing ball, her daughter helped her load the luggage into the car, and she "fled" the home that made her feel suffocated.
At first, shooting Vlogs was just to record her life and see if she could "earn some travel expenses". She didn't set any grand goals and just "let things take their course". However, when her story was discovered and reported by the media (a Sohu journalist), it quickly attracted phenomenal attention. Countless netizens flocked to the comment section of her videos, and many women left messages saying that they "saw themselves in her" and "it was like looking in a mirror". Only then did Su Min realize that her personal experience had touched a wide social nerve.
Breaking Free from the Cocoon: The Transformation from a Housewife to an Independent Woman
More than four years on the road, Su Min has not only traveled two - thirds of China's land but, more importantly, has completed a profound internal transformation. She is no longer the "indecisive housewife" but has become more confident and decisive. She has learned to handle various problems on the road independently and has a clearer understanding of what she wants. She says: "This decision has changed everything about me." She is glad that she took that brave step back then. Otherwise, she can't imagine what state she would be in now - perhaps still struggling in depression or even falling ill due to it.
This transformation is also reflected in her views on marriage and life. She no longer thinks that marriage is the only destination for women and deeply realizes the extreme importance of economic independence for women's dignity and freedom. "A woman has to have money if she wants to live freely and like a human being." She encourages women to have their own careers or jobs and not to rely entirely on others.
At the same time, she reflects on the past idea of maintaining an unhappy marriage "for the sake of the children". Her daughter told her after growing up that the endless quarrels between her parents and the depressed family atmosphere had brought her huge psychological shadows, and she even hoped that her parents would divorce earlier. This made Su Min realize that a so - called "complete family" that is actually broken inside is not good for children. Therefore, she advises women in similar dilemmas not to sacrifice their own happiness in the name of their children.
The Ongoing Farewell: The Realistic Obstacles on the Divorce Road
With the awakening of self - awareness and economic independence, Su Min finally made up her mind to completely bid farewell to that unhappy marriage. However, the divorce process has not been smooth. She mentions that although she and her husband have been separated for more than twenty years, it is still extremely difficult to prove "the breakdown of the relationship" at the legal level. Especially in the absence of evidence of domestic violence from that era (there were no mobile phones for recording at that time, and there was a lack of awareness of collecting evidence), and with the current divorce cooling - off period system, the divorce process has been longer and more complicated than expected. She even has to make compromises in property division (reports say that she needs to pay a sum of money to her ex - husband).
This experience once again highlights the possible limitations of the law in protecting the vulnerable (especially women who have suffered from implicit control and cold violence). Su Min's story also reminds contemporary women to consciously preserve evidence when encountering unfair treatment for future needs.
A New Family Model: Mother - Daughter Partnership and Inter - generational Reconciliation
Interestingly, Su Min's leaving and success have also reshaped her relationship with her daughter. Now, her daughter is not only her spiritual supporter but also her career partner - her daughter is in charge of video editing, and her son - in - law helps with business matters. This new type of relationship, both mother - daughter/family and colleagues, gives them more common topics and makes their relationship more harmonious. Su Min believes that this has not only helped her daughter, who was out of the workplace due to child - bearing and the pandemic, find a sense of value but also allows her to focus more on enjoying the journey itself.
Regarding "daughters who leave home" like her daughter, who may leave their hometowns to pursue their careers, Su Min expresses understanding and support. She believes that filial piety is not just about accompanying. Children's ability to pursue their dreams, live happily and valuably is a kind of comfort to their parents. She recalls the guilt she felt when she was young because she couldn't meet her mother's material needs due to financial difficulties. She believes that children's efforts to create value and give back to their parents when they are capable are also forms of filial piety. This view breaks the restrictions of geography and form and provides a more tolerant and diverse interpretation of parent - child relationships and the concept of filial piety in the context of modern society.
Forward - looking Thinking: The Continuous Inspiration of the Su Min Phenomenon
Aunt Su Min's story has long gone beyond personal joys and sorrows and has become a cultural symbol of the times. It not only encourages countless women in trouble to bravely seek change but also prompts the whole society to more deeply examine the drawbacks of traditional family concepts, discuss what a healthy marriage relationship is, and the ultimate meaning of individual happiness in life.
Her experience proves that the possibilities in life are far broader than we imagine, and it's never too late to change. Even in an environment where traditional concepts are deeply ingrained, an individual can still change the course of their destiny through awakening and action. Su Min's current biggest wish is to get the divorce certificate smoothly and complete the legal separation. When that day comes, she will truly "have nothing more to ask for" and whole - heartedly embrace the free and unrestrained second half of her life.
Su Min's story continues, and her voice, along with the persistent pursuit of freedom, dignity, and happiness that she represents, will continue to echo in the era, inspiring more people to think, act, and live their true selves.